Childhood Reminiscience

I remember when life wasn’t rocks.
I remember when to ankle, were just to socks.
I remember when buildings were made of blocks.

Growing old is making me recognize,
That life is more than shown before our eyes.
Making it out alive is our only true prize.

Plans we had when we were young,
Now nothing more than regrets our memories brung.
Melodies of yesterday, becoming sorrows to the sung.

Years pass and we lose more than we gain,
Tears pass our cheeks as we try to hide the pain.
Our faces grow throughout time to resemble the rain.

I thought life was easier than this,
Only I never knew the things I would miss.
Now I just wait for my soul and shell to kiss.

Life’s struggles add more questions
To the list I’ve kept on my mirror’s reflections.
Scary how in the end I again lose all possessions.

TWO AM

The walls watch me diligently
As I stare at the ceiling irritably

Hot flashes occur which causes me to stir
I can’t seem to find, this so called ‘Golden Slumber’

I hear the ticks in the walls
Along with other noises through the halls

Odd how we can’t hear these until we don’t want to—
Annoying ears a quater after two

I struggle and kick to roll and pick, a new position for each clock’s tick
However each one doesn’t do the trick

Until I’m in a daze, my thoughts I can no longer keep
Just then do I finally fall asleep

Timing of Death

A second is an itch
A minute is a cramp
An hour is a bruise
A day is a scrape
A week is a black-eye
A month is a burn
A year is a gash
A decade is an amputation

No need for death, aging makes me feel dead.

Finding Love

Hiding In Plain Sight

Our perception on good is our own deception
When Evil lies within our own reflection

Witness a peer spreading joy from there to here
They seem as if their mind is in the clear

Melting into society like deathless cremation
However they’re Satan’s creation

Compensate for guilt built over the years
By helping you fight your other fears

Our gaurds down, they go for the kill; dissection
See how trust outweighs any arsenal collection

Growing Young

Maturity is growing to act to appease.
World War II consequences, now seize.

Suicide

If we can’t be ourselves then why be anything at all?
They grow stronger as we fall.

Love

I Want Her Help

I try to tell them I want to sleep forever
Attempting to relay the message oh so clever
However, me? I wake up;

never—

She laughs and I laugh as if it’s alright
Trying to prolong the stare into my eyelids every night,
The Angel and Devil continue on for an infinite fight

“I wonder if I can drive a Ferrari in Hell”

Debating my dream in an attempt for my soul to sell
My emotions are falling into the wet,
So you may say I’m well

Does She Love Me

Falling Deep

It’s never perfect, the bound between one another
I love to be alone, but I’d love to have a lover

I sit and wish someone would be my friend
But then when one finds me, I dread the end

So, you took a turn down my untraveled trail
Now is fine... I’m happy, but when this fails—

I make a friend, and maybe more to flirt
But all I think, is,
"Fuck this is going to hurt.”

Conversation Among Me, Myself & I

I fucking hate you all.
Fuck a wife;
no ring because he never is gunna call.
A minnie soda & bottle of purple people tacklers will end this life.

I love everyone so much.
We can all attain peace and love,
For it is your heart I’m trying to touch.
Believe, like you all believe in the one above.

Step all over me, now why must they stare?
The corner is my friend, for it has my back.
Can they feel the fear in me among the air?
It appears courage to interact is something I lack.

Peace

Child Custody Won

Love O' Two

Imagination Of A Mad Man

Chemical Warefare

Him

Hatred starting from love

Every piece of me related to you, makes me hate our genes being fused
Irrational reasoning caused me to become so confused

I don’t hate you, even though I do
I think I am just too confused to think it through

I want to help you, even though I do not
I think I am scared to attempt what should be sought

Sometimes I wish you were dead, making me seem hypocritical
Although I lose memories of my youth, just being cynical

Somehow the tragedies you caused lie dormant

You were always too high, we could never bond
So I blinded the bad by watching James Bond

I always told you, “Daddy you need to stop, you’re losing everything.”
You ignoring my cries for help, just added to the abandoning sting

When you completely disconnected from me, all you had was Sean
Come to find years later, Sean had died from cancer, and no sight of dawn

How ironic, I still think your bad karma, ended Sean’s life
If we met today, I still think I would seem strife

I just don’t know how I could forgive you
I miss you, no, I hate you
I wish I could erase all the memories of you

Sometimes my brain does in defense
I will completely forget, as if I’m dense

Then someone says, “Your dad.”
“Yes, what about Eric?”

Then my brains filter glitches and reveals everything that’s bad I feel as if I
never knew you, just a generic junkie
Sometimes I wish you rung me

I hate how you not doing anything, was actually worse than doing something

Please leave me alone
Your life is dusk

LIFE = BEACH

I am not well
My half is lost,
I’m merely just a shell

I’ve lost my soul
Something I need,
Just to feel whole

This is the time where
The water and sand dune
Grow apart, and dry from the air

Low times indeed
Of someone For I am in need

Only I sit in this jail cell—
Of a life
Waiting to arrive in Hell

Diamond Cutter

Our love was of a diamond
No matter could corrupt our strength
As it broke, I lay stunned

Together we mend the pieces
Only the strength will never return
For imperfections lie beneath the creases

As you tear me down
I’ll only work more to bring you up

Breaking Point

One call
Two calls
Three calls;
Four

I can’t stand,
This dial tone no more

One pill
Three pills
Six pills;
More

I can’t stand,
This brain thought no more

I cry for help
“Not now.”
Then I welp

Few to who
Is new to knew

I’m losing it again,
But she’s not here to tighten the screw.

Her

Lured in with beauty
We enjoyed eachother’s company

A date or two,
by the third; it flew
Not knowing you,
would come to accrue;
My wounded heart

You knew my past of blue
you, the one I turned to
Seek a life anew,
and so the old I did ensue;
Began with you a final start

Warmth of you did imbue,
Myself; a feeling of taboo
You before I, my worldview
All was well, then came askew
You, and who I knew;
I couldn’t tell apart

And depressed I was so,
struck from high to low
You, my Love, my Locus;
became my Autumn Crocus

Two Worlds; One Planet

The middle of the shopping plaza—

“Mother, I see a fountain!”
A boy shrieked
“Okay J.C.” The mother says
Shifting through what remains,
Of the dead animal from a mountain

Her hand bumps other frivolous things
Lip gloss, eye liner, and foundation—
Then like a toy crane she curawls the other dead animal,
Pulling out the reason a bum sings

J.C. Gently grasps a fourth of evil,
Placing it upon the top of his thumb
Practice from decapitating dandelions,
Shows success once he hears the bloop
Eyes closed tight, wishing for toys retrieval

Hungry and dying of thirst—

Shur gently lays down her bed of primeval,
To us we call this bed a stack of straw
But to her it is a home of dreams,
And the last of her mother since she passed
Eyes closed tight, her stomach in upheaval

Shur looks upon the last berry from Spring
Lips lost, eyes wider, and starvation—
Then like an ashamed pup she swallows all that’s edible,
Pulling life up like an Angel’s Wings

“Mother, I see a fountain!”
Shur shrieked
“Okay, Hun.” Her figmental-sobbing mother says
Shifting through her daughter, or what remains
Returning her to Heaven in her arms, relinquishing her pains

That’s It, He’s Fucking Insane

The motor of the fan
Spinning upon the rooms plane

Then in the corner lies a man
Asphyxiating so, they call him insane

Thinking of time and space,
Realizing we’ve won the race
Searching for what’s not there,
Will end up with palms of bare

The pillowed walls,
Are narrowed halls;
For only to the mind of the brave.

Dear Mom

You became a mom,
Once you held a world in your palm
Sing a psalm,
For light will shine down upon
You kept calm,
Throughout our life’s storms
Shaping the life we live,
Into a loving form

A mother,
Our closest perception to God
God is Love,
Love is made from within
Within is made from you,
You are made from Love

Help Me, Mama.

If I don’t see tomorrow I’m sorry, Mom.
Living like this isn’t worth it anymore.
I’m stuck inside of my heads jungle; it’s Vietnam.
When you see my cold dead body hugging the floor;
Sorry I couldn’t hide the gore.

My hearts under an elephant,
I’m having a hard time breathing.
This battle I won’t come out triumphant.
God I’m coming, while This world;

I’m leaving.

I thought I could make it right—

Now I see I can’t even stand to fight.
If god exists show me the light.
If not I’ll kill myself in spite.
This poem I don’t even know why I write.

I should be dead by now
I don’t know how
I can stand like this
With love lost bliss

I’m so depressed.
My thoughts of positivity slowly relinquish.
The cause is me being obsessed,
But this poem I can’t even fini